Searching.

Today has been one of those days that has left me searching. Searching my brain for answers that I don't have. Searching my heart for my purpose. Searching my house for things I haven't been able to find since August. This world is full of things I don't understand. Why are there children who have been neglected or abandoned? Why does cancer rip families limb from limb? Why the hate? Why the sickness? Why the sadness? So I search for answers. I search for ways to help. I search...sometimes to no avail.

The one place I find solace is in the Word of God. The TRUTH. His promise is what keeps me going.

I have had discussions with people who are non-believers. It used to make me uncomfortable because I never felt I had the right words. I was not very familiar with scripture and I don't think I will ever be able to spout off Bible verses for as long as I live. But one day, the following "came to me" which I later discovered, this is how God speaks to us. Without my faith, I would crumble under the pressure of the world. God gave me a very soft heart. Ask my parents. I've always been the "fragile" one. Over the past few years I have learned that this is not a bad thing as long as I remember His promise. He gave me a soft heart and often asks me to put it on the line. It's uncomfortable, sometimes downright painful. I will do it, because He asks me to. I could very well avoid a lot of heartache by keeping my distance, but tragically that would mean I would miss out on so much joy. The joy of new relationships. The joy of making someone's day brighter. The joy of doing God's work.

I have found that searching isn't really doing me any favors. Maybe I will just be still and listen.

But I will keep searching for my kitchen utensils.

Baby Bot.

It looks as though these aching arms will have to wait longer than expected to hold the baby bot. We know Uncle Gary is holding him or her in Heaven. Rest little sweet pea. We will see you someday.

This is my confession.

If you have read either one of my blogs over the last several months you've probably noticed, there has been a lot going on. Moving, school, holidays, crafts, cooking, cleaning, laundry, parties, deaths, a pregnancy announcement and A LOT of praying. What you may or may not have noticed is a mention of the George family attending church. It may not be completely out of the ordinary because I don't really broadcast each and every service we attend. But the truth is...we haven't been going. It was never because we were "backsliding" or revolting against organized religion. It wasn't because we don't LOVE going. It was for a few reasons, which are not even remotely acceptable when I look at what all God has done for me. Thankfully I serve a God who knows I'm not perfect and He will forgive me for my brief hiatus.

God sent me a sign in the form of TWO children who asked a few times in one week, "Momma, when are we going to go back to church?" Ouch. Talk about a humbling experience. Claire was VERY excited about trying out "medium church" and Cohen was excited about going to the "big boy play land!" I was thankful for our "guy" who has been Cohen's teacher since birth. (And that is really saying something in a church the size of ours...he is truly a blessing!)

So after a few months of lazy Sunday mornings, we are back. And let me tell you...it felt great.

Stream of Consciousness

Taking a cue from MckMama I decided to try my hand at this. Just my thoughts...unorganized as they may be.

Life is hard. I'm thankful that I am a Christian and can cling tight to my faith knowing there will be a day...when we will live with no pain. No tears. No cancer. I love my family. They are God's gift to me on this earth. My kids...oh my kids. They make life worth living and some days are THE reason I get out of bed. As much as I love them, I lose my patience with them. I need to work on that...staying calm. I often feel like I am walking around with the weight of the world on my shoulders. My husband is my rock. I hope he knows how much I adore him. Sometimes my actions might be quite contrary. I need to get that in check. I can make or break the mood in my home. If momma ain't happy...ain't nobody happy. What power...what responsibility. I use these....too much. I feel judged by people I don't know. Why do I care? It must be my people pleasing ways. I worry too much, which apparently means I need to pray more. I am blessed with so many people in my life who I know are praying for us. I'm scared. I miss Bible study. Being a grownup is hard, but the reward of raising a family is so much greater than anything I could imagine.

So there you have it...my thoughts. Interesting I know.

This kid...

melts my heart into a big puddle of mushy goodness...pretty much daily.

On Saturday, Grandma Connie watched the kids so Big Daddy and I could have a little date. We went to see The Blind Side and it was a GREAT movie. But nothing compared to the story I heard when I picked up my little lovelies.

Claire had decided to make up a game for her, Grandma and Cohen to play. She wrote names on note cards and stacked them up. Each person was to draw a card and say something nice about the person on the card. Here are some of Cohen's answers:

Nanny: "She has a clean house and she is a very good Nanny."

Papa: "He is a very good fisherman and I love him."

Aunt Sandy: "She is nice to me, she makes good soup and I love her dog Mulligan."

And the best one....

Uncle Gary: "I am sorry that he died but he is in Heaven with Jesus and I love him...so does Jesus."

There it goes again....a big puddle of mushy goodness.

Since Christmas....

I have taken the first picture with my new camera.

Celebrated New Year's Eve with some pretty great people.

Let my son creep in on a family picture.

Freaked the kids out. (Dancing Santa is always good for that...especially sans head.)

Danced with my boy to "Big Green Tractor" (A FEW times.)

Woke up to a winter wonderland.

Let my husband take my picture without makeup.

Played in the snow.

Chased Claire in the snow.

Watched Claire slide down the hill "like a penguin."

Kissed this face often.

...and that was just AFTER Christmas. Maybe if you're lucky, I'll let you in on what I did BEFORE and DURING Christmas!

I Am...

in LOVE with The Vintage Pearl! It's too bad there isn't anything like Valentine's Day...or a 30th birthday just around the corner. I'm just saying.

And THIS one couldn't be more perfect! I remember reading "Guess How Much I Love You" to Claire as a baby. I would tell her, "I love you to the moon and back!" As she got older, she said it back and tried with all her might to find a way to "top" me. She would also mix up the name of the main characters Big and Little "Nutbrown Hare" and it was HILARIOUS. Sick and wrong....but hilarious.