Thursday, May 1, 2008

It's still pouring.

I'm being tested big time this week. We are waiting for a call from Oklahoma. My aunt (my dad's sister) is very close to being called home to our father in Heaven. She has been in a existing in a nursing home for years now. They had to remove her feeding tube last week which was a blessing. Now we wait for her to go. I'm not sad for her because she gets to go home to a place where Huntington's disease doesn't exist. She gets to join her mother, sister, son and husband in heaven for eternity. She gets to be free. We mourned for her when we started losing her to this cruel disease years ago. However, my heart breaks for my Dad and his brother who are burying yet another sister and have already lost their mother as well. My heart breaks for my Mom and my Aunt Donna who have to do this with their husbands again. The pain I feel for my Grandpa is intense. No man should ever have to say goodbye to his wife and both of his daughters in his lifetime. So many people in my family have been devestated by this disease. It's almost too much to bear. I KNOW this is Gods plan. I don't get it sometimes, but I will one day...just not today. Please God be with my family as they face this difficult time.

And can I just say....I HATE CANCER!!!! I know "hate" is not really a "nice" word, but neither is cancer. I will post more on that subject later because I'm not ready yet. It's just been a really hard day. It's crazy to think about my life one year ago and what a "hard" day would have been. I have to chuckle a little at myself. I am so thankful for the strength I have found in the LORD! Without him, it WOULD be too much to bear.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008


For some reason the link didn't work. I'm sure it has something to do with user error! The blog is and I am not sure why it didn't work. AND, to Lindsay King...e-mail me! I would love to catch up but I don't have your e-mail address!

Monday, April 28, 2008

Created to be his Help Meet

If you have talked to me in the last month, you know that I have been raving about my new Bible study. I am pleased to report that just 1 month into it, our entire family is reaping the benefits of this wife who is choosing to be a little less selfish and a little more wife-ish. (yes, that is a word...I made it up, but it is a word!) It is funny though, a lot of things I am learning are things that my dear sweet mother tried to teach me, I just wasn't ready to listen. I have a hunch that there is A LOT of eye rolling going on somewhere in the world when I talk about this. I know this because I used to be an eye roller. People would talk about the roles of women in Christian families and I would literally gag. "Oh yeah, I want to be someones doormat for the rest of my life, that sounds great!" As a woman in this day and age, I was conditioned to think that being submissive to my husband was striving to achieve doormat status. I was convinced that I was a lesser woman because I didn't have a career outside the home. In order to feel like a "strong and independent woman" I must take CONTROL of this home. I tried that. It didn't work. It left me feeling like a failure. My attitude toward my husband was bitter. After all, he was out socializing all day with attractive, well dressed successful men and women while I was stuck at home in sweats eating chicken nuggets in the shapes of dinosaurs. I was a slave to the washing machine, boogers and diapers. I wasn't finding joy in everyday life. My attitude was sucking the life out of me and of my husband. Because I serve such an amazing and gracious God, He was patient with me. He kept talking to me until I listened. Actually, he put wise women in my life who kept talking until I listened!!! When I found the courage to admit my mistakes and swallow my pride, my life began to change. I had to start small. A wise woman once told me, "Honey, it took her all her life to become this person. She isn't going to change over night!" (thanks Grammy!!) But each day, I felt the walls coming down. I could see it in my husbands smile when he walked in the door. I could tell it in the random hugs I was getting from him and my children that there was a new joy in our home. A joy that I, the lowly old mom, was completely responsible for. Now THAT is power. THAT is success. THAT is attractive to a man who has entrusted me with the most important little people in his life.

I still have times where I slip back into my old habit of being grumpy, but they are minutes....not days or weeks. I love my Bible study, and I bet if you ask Brian he would say the same thing. So I continue to look forward to every other Monday when I meet with my girls and we encourage each other and eat WONDERFUL snacks! I always feel so inspired when I leave. It's such a blessing!

My mom found this blog and told me to look at it because it is really good! I'm hooked!