Searching.

Today has been one of those days that has left me searching. Searching my brain for answers that I don't have. Searching my heart for my purpose. Searching my house for things I haven't been able to find since August. This world is full of things I don't understand. Why are there children who have been neglected or abandoned? Why does cancer rip families limb from limb? Why the hate? Why the sickness? Why the sadness? So I search for answers. I search for ways to help. I search...sometimes to no avail.

The one place I find solace is in the Word of God. The TRUTH. His promise is what keeps me going.

I have had discussions with people who are non-believers. It used to make me uncomfortable because I never felt I had the right words. I was not very familiar with scripture and I don't think I will ever be able to spout off Bible verses for as long as I live. But one day, the following "came to me" which I later discovered, this is how God speaks to us. Without my faith, I would crumble under the pressure of the world. God gave me a very soft heart. Ask my parents. I've always been the "fragile" one. Over the past few years I have learned that this is not a bad thing as long as I remember His promise. He gave me a soft heart and often asks me to put it on the line. It's uncomfortable, sometimes downright painful. I will do it, because He asks me to. I could very well avoid a lot of heartache by keeping my distance, but tragically that would mean I would miss out on so much joy. The joy of new relationships. The joy of making someone's day brighter. The joy of doing God's work.

I have found that searching isn't really doing me any favors. Maybe I will just be still and listen.

But I will keep searching for my kitchen utensils.

Baby Bot.

It looks as though these aching arms will have to wait longer than expected to hold the baby bot. We know Uncle Gary is holding him or her in Heaven. Rest little sweet pea. We will see you someday.