I started this post before Christmas and finally finished my complete thought.
Yesterday didn't start off very well. My Cohen was sick and it was later revealed he had strep throat. My Claire was having tummy troubles. I was feeling like I had been hit by a dump truck for a few reasons. I have tons to do and ZERO motivation to do any of it. This Christmas has been harder than I imagined it could be. BUT I still look for the joy.
One of the THINGS in my home that I love is a crystal candy dish. It was given to me by Brian's grandma when we were newlyweds. I love it. In February, it's filled with conversation hearts. In March and April, pastel M&Ms. During the summer months, I keep it exciting! As soon as fall rolls around, it's a mix of candy corn, M&Ms and peanuts. At Christmas, I LOVE to fill it with Brach's Holiday Mix. It always looks so pretty and I love to sneak a piece whenever I get the chance. I really love this candy dish. Now, to the point...
Cohen was sneaking a piece...when the lid slipped from his cute little hands. I knew when I heard it what had just taken place. Before I even saw it I was sad. I went into the living room and he was flashing me his million dollar smile. I informed him that this was not funny. He instantly broke down into a sobbing mess. I felt horrible but still wanted him to know that this was exactly why I had told him not to get into the dish himself. As he cried, "Momma...I'm so SOOOOWWWWWWEEEEEEE," I told him that I forgave him. And of course I did, wholeheartedly.
I then thought about this for the rest of the day. Am I too attached to THINGS? Was this what God is trying to tell me? This has happened before. The ONLY things that get broken are things I love. But honestly...I don't think so. I really don't get terribly attached to THINGS. Sure I'm sad when they get broken, but it's not the end of the world. So here's what I came up with.....GRACE. He is teaching me GRACE. My instinct was to be mad. However, when I looked in the eyes of my baby boy and saw the sadness, I was reminded of how I must disappoint my Lord on a daily. We are all sinners by nature, but he forgives us. Whether it is living in fear, making snap judgements about people instead of looking at them through Christ-like eyes or not being able to let go of my raging caffeine addiction....I sin. And HE forgives me and grants me another day to do better.
That night, I cuddled my little guy before bed and thanked the Lord for this precious gift....of grace. I still have the dish as well as the piece that broke off. My plan is to super glue it back together and fill it with candies. I pray that each day it serves as a reminder of brokenness, forgiveness, grace and a little sweetness.