Thursday, November 6, 2008

We're all in this together.

Yesterday was unseasonably warm and luckily we already had a play date scheduled with a good friend of mine from Jr. High and her twins. It was very windy, but great for November! Of course all of the kids pass up the "little" play equipment and head straight for the good stuff. You know the stuff that makes your stomach feel all "squeezy" when your babies venture up to the tippy top. Of course the purple slide is the best. It goes all the way up to the sky and swirls all the way down. (It really is VERY tall and totally freaks me out because I am afraid that the kids will get to the top and then stand up..ugh.) As three kids filed up the stairs....the first little guy lost his nerve. Traffic jam. I stood at the bottom ready to catch Rhonda's little guy if he fell while the mother of the other boy ran up the stairs. She got him down, Braden didn't fall and the other little girl slid down without incident. However, while the first little guy was being rescued, her other baby who looked to be a bit younger had managed to get himself in a pickle too! She looked around and handed her older child off to me and asked me to hold him while she rescued the other one. I was more than happy to cuddle him while his momma played playground super hero. When both boys were safe, she thanked me for my help. She later returned the favor when she alerted me that Claire had gotten the water faucet on and had it going FULL BLAST! I was so glad she got my attention before Claire and others were soaked head to toe!

The point of my story is this. Unfortunately, it isn't often that I have positive encounters with moms like that. I have had so many encounters with mothers that left such a bad taste in my mouth, that I am very hesitant to make new mommy friends. For example, the lady at Chuck E. Cheese who ripped into me when my daughter pulled her daughters hair. Of course I made her apologize (Claire, not the rude lady) but it really upset me that she didn't even give me the chance to make it right before being so hateful. I did love the look on her face when I told her that Claire was only 2 years old. (Her daughter looked to be six or seven!) In my 4 short years as a mommy I have been subjected to mothers who do everything right and love to point out when my kids mess up. NEWSFLASH! They are 2 and 4...they will make mistakes. Another treat is the dirty looks I get when my 2 year old acts his age. They think he is a really badly behaved 4 year old, when he is really a well behaved 2 year old! Maybe I'm too sensitive.

In a perfect world, moms would build each other up. They would compliment each other and each others children....and mean it. They would do their best with their OWN children and realize that every other mom at the playground is doing the same. When they saw another mother struggling with a toddler who is throwing a tantrum, they would remember how they felt the last time their child threw a fit in a public place. They would say things like, "Oh what a beautiful girl" instead of "Wow she's huge!" They might mention, to a mother of four or five, that she is so blessed and is doing a great job, rather than ask "Uh, don't you know what causes that?" or "You're done now right?"

I have discovered that there ARE many moms out there who are kind. I just happen to be related to quite a few which is awesome. I know I can't change the world, but I can be the nice mommy at the playground. To the lady at the park with the two boys, be proud of yourself for being kind to a complete stranger and not judging her when she let her kids out of her sight long enough to blast cold water all over!

The world is tough enough for our little ones, why not do the best we can to encourage ALL children? Being a mom is serious stuff, why not support one another instead of tearing each other down? After all, we are all in this together...right?

P.S...the aforementioned friend with the twins is one of my super nice mommy friends! Just wanted to make sure that was clear!


Aimee Kieffer, aka "Momzoo" said...

Thank you, that is a good reminder. You are so right about being kind to each other. It would sure make all of our jobs easier.

Jessica said...

very true chrissy! isn't is sad how judgmental we are instead of being supportive! anyways- YOU have MY support and I think you're a wonderful mommy!

Rhonda said...

Amen.. I was just thinking about this the other day. A lady at the pharmacy asked if my kids were twins and then instead of the normal.. Man, I don't envy you comment. She said you are truly blessed they are so beautiful.. How refreshing that was.. the other comments get old. Anyways I completely agree with you.. Oh and thanks for trying to catch my little guy that day. :)