Worst Fear.

There are a few things in this world that I fear. I have decided that I am afraid of snakes and heights. But I have a FEAR of a few things. I once watched an episode of ER when Cynthia Nixon guest starred as a patient who had suffered a stroke. I remember watching and being completely claustrophobic because she was thinking very clearly, but could NOT say the words she needed to say. The scene gripped me and I have never forgotten it. I made up my mind, THAT would have to be one of the WORST feelings in the world.

Rewind to Wednesday. There was a front moving through so I was not surprised to feel a migraine headache coming on. I usually get tunnel vision and little squiggly lines followed by numbness and tingling in my hands and face...and then the headache. Some days it's no big deal and some days it's debilitating. Wednesday morning didn't seem to be too bad. However, as soon as it passed, it started all over...only with puking this time. Great. Brian got home, I went upstairs to take lots of medicine and pass out. After about 20 minutes, I could tell something was NOT right. I yelled for Brian and he found me in BAD shape. He knew that if the meds could just kick in, I could sleep it off. So as I started to calm down, he thought that was exactly what was happening. Unfortunately, that was not the case. True, I was still and quiet. BUT, it wasn't because I was feeling better. It was because my entire body was paralyzed and I couldn't speak. It was the worst feeling I've ever had. I couldn't see but I managed to say 911, so Brian called an ambulance. They came and took me to the hospital. All the while, I was unable to move or speak much. They drugged me up, scanned my brain and did a spinal tap. They ruled that it was just a VERY serious migraine. I will spare you a lot of the details because it was really VERY traumatizing. I thought for sure that I was having a stroke or an aneurysm. I remember saying (in my head of course), "GOD I don't want to die." I am still recovering from the spinal tap. They say if I keep the fluids coming it should replenish my spinal fluid so I can avoid another needle in my spine.

On the bright side...my brain was free of anything that would be cause for concern, my spinal fluid was crystal clear and I faced one of my biggest fears head on. The adults in my family are still recovering from seeing me like that. Sorry guys.