Thursday, May 1, 2008

It's still pouring.

I'm being tested big time this week. We are waiting for a call from Oklahoma. My aunt (my dad's sister) is very close to being called home to our father in Heaven. She has been in a existing in a nursing home for years now. They had to remove her feeding tube last week which was a blessing. Now we wait for her to go. I'm not sad for her because she gets to go home to a place where Huntington's disease doesn't exist. She gets to join her mother, sister, son and husband in heaven for eternity. She gets to be free. We mourned for her when we started losing her to this cruel disease years ago. However, my heart breaks for my Dad and his brother who are burying yet another sister and have already lost their mother as well. My heart breaks for my Mom and my Aunt Donna who have to do this with their husbands again. The pain I feel for my Grandpa is intense. No man should ever have to say goodbye to his wife and both of his daughters in his lifetime. So many people in my family have been devestated by this disease. It's almost too much to bear. I KNOW this is Gods plan. I don't get it sometimes, but I will one day...just not today. Please God be with my family as they face this difficult time.

And can I just say....I HATE CANCER!!!! I know "hate" is not really a "nice" word, but neither is cancer. I will post more on that subject later because I'm not ready yet. It's just been a really hard day. It's crazy to think about my life one year ago and what a "hard" day would have been. I have to chuckle a little at myself. I am so thankful for the strength I have found in the LORD! Without him, it WOULD be too much to bear.


Sheila said...

SO weird! I have had some of the same thoughts since last week when Daddy called me. I havent been able to get everyone out of my mind. And GRANDPA....SAME thoughts! I just will never forget how devistated he was when Grandma died. I guess its time for me to give everyone to God. Cuz my "thoughts" are getting no where! Call me if you need to talk. I love you!

momofmanysheep said...

Praying for you Chrissy. Seems like you have been going through the fire. BUT - remember that when you are going through the fire it also means you are becoming refined. Tests and trials are what make us strong believers able to empathize with others. Only a year ago, I lost all three of my grandparents. It's tough. The Lord WILL carry you through!