If you have talked to me in the last month, you know that I have been raving about my new Bible study. I am pleased to report that just 1 month into it, our entire family is reaping the benefits of this wife who is choosing to be a little less selfish and a little more wife-ish. (yes, that is a word...I made it up, but it is a word!) It is funny though, a lot of things I am learning are things that my dear sweet mother tried to teach me, I just wasn't ready to listen. I have a hunch that there is A LOT of eye rolling going on somewhere in the world when I talk about this. I know this because I used to be an eye roller. People would talk about the roles of women in Christian families and I would literally gag. "Oh yeah, I want to be someones doormat for the rest of my life, that sounds great!" As a woman in this day and age, I was conditioned to think that being submissive to my husband was striving to achieve doormat status. I was convinced that I was a lesser woman because I didn't have a career outside the home. In order to feel like a "strong and independent woman" I must take CONTROL of this home. I tried that. It didn't work. It left me feeling like a failure. My attitude toward my husband was bitter. After all, he was out socializing all day with attractive, well dressed successful men and women while I was stuck at home in sweats eating chicken nuggets in the shapes of dinosaurs. I was a slave to the washing machine, boogers and diapers. I wasn't finding joy in everyday life. My attitude was sucking the life out of me and of my husband. Because I serve such an amazing and gracious God, He was patient with me. He kept talking to me until I listened. Actually, he put wise women in my life who kept talking until I listened!!! When I found the courage to admit my mistakes and swallow my pride, my life began to change. I had to start small. A wise woman once told me, "Honey, it took her all her life to become this person. She isn't going to change over night!" (thanks Grammy!!) But each day, I felt the walls coming down. I could see it in my husbands smile when he walked in the door. I could tell it in the random hugs I was getting from him and my children that there was a new joy in our home. A joy that I, the lowly old mom, was completely responsible for. Now THAT is power. THAT is success. THAT is attractive to a man who has entrusted me with the most important little people in his life.
I still have times where I slip back into my old habit of being grumpy, but they are minutes....not days or weeks. I love my Bible study, and I bet if you ask Brian he would say the same thing. So I continue to look forward to every other Monday when I meet with my girls and we encourage each other and eat WONDERFUL snacks! I always feel so inspired when I leave. It's such a blessing!
My mom found this blog and told me to look at it because it is really good! I'm hooked!