Sunday, February 26, 2012

Public Service Announcement

Today I want to address something very serious.  Something that plagues our nation and is showing no signs of letting up.  It is weighing very heavy on my heart these days.

Today I will talk about...wearing flip flops in the winter months.

I love flip flops. I do not love when they are called thongs, because there is another clothing item that goes by that name and TRUST me that can cause some major confusion.  I live in the Midwest.  A place where we are blessed by the presence of all four seasons.  I LOVE it.  However, the blurry line between summer and winter causes much confusion when it comes to appropriate foot wear.  We have had some unseasonably warm weather this month, so I have been subjected to some pretty nasty winter feet. (Save for the gentleman who wore socks with his flip flops...thanks dude.)

Why do I feel so strongly about this?  If you are throwing on a pair of flips in January or February...chances are you have not paid them proper attention.  I will admit, my feet look less than desirable in the winter.  Which is why I COVER THEM UP for sobbing out loud!!!  I literally gagged last year in the produce section when I caught a glimpse of a lady in flip flops. I swear her toenails were clicking on the floor and she left me in a trail of crusty dead heel skin.

So here are some guidelines.

You wake up and see that the forecast calls for a high of 60 degrees so by all means grab a pair of sandals....  UNLESS your calendar reads November, December, January or February. (Please note that I was generous and gave you October and March, but that is only if they are primed and ready.)  In that case, please...I beg of you put them back.  Throw on a pair of Chucks, Toms, Bobs or any other shoe of the closed toe variety.  (Except for Crocs...but that's a whole different blog.)

If you grab a coat, scarf, stocking cap or gloves and you are using them for keeping warm...not just looking cute, then it is NOT a flip flop day.

If you must warm up your car, no flip flops please.

If there is snow on the ground...cripes man...I feel I shouldn't even have to address that, but I've seen it with my own two eyes!  That's not even safe! Aren't people worried about frost bite??

I feel I must say that my husband often breaks these guidelines and hang my head in shame.  As we approach March, please exercise your right to manicure and exfoliate.  Thank you...and now back to your regular scheduled programming.

1 comment:

Jenny said...

Crissy, I needed this early morning laugh! You are sooo funny! I'm not guilty yet this year of busting out the flip flops too early, but if I even think about it, I will be sure that I am not planning on seeing any of the Giddens clan. And I am glad to know that I am not the only one who STRONGLY feels that the word "thong" should only be used for one type of clothing. Lol!