This post comes with a disclaimer. If you don't want to hear a story about dog poo....stop reading now.
This is Major. He's a good boy. He is also a BIG boy. Weighing in at approximately 145 pounds, nothing he does is small. We rescued him at the end of the summer and he has fit perfectly into our family. When we got him he was already house trained and he is wonderful with the kids.
This morning, I had just gotten up and was returning to my bedroom after picking out the kids clothes for the day. I was walking across the landing between our bedrooms and heard something spill. I whipped around because I seriously thought one of the kids had dumped a giant cup of water on the rug in the middle of the landing. To my dismay, a dump certainly had occurred. Unfortunately, the dump came from Mr. Major. His name has never been more fitting. As I tried to guide him AWAY from the rug and to the nearest door, I realized that maybe we should just stay put....I will spare you the details, but man...it was BAD.
I led the poor guy out the door onto our deck that is off our bedroom. (This would be the first time I went outside. This will be important to another part of this story.) I went back in and began securing the scene. The children were instructed to stay in their rooms, which really wasn't a problem. They were both gagging. I was trying to only breathe through my mouth. I also have allergies, which causes a runny nose, which I could not sniff for fear I may lose it...so I was looking SUPER SEXY with that going on. I started mopping and disinfecting. I scrubbed a little on the rug, but realized I would not have time if I was going to get Claire to school on time. I made the decision to take the rug out and hang it on the deck. As I was flipping it over the rail, I felt quite a breeze only to realize...I was still in my pajamas. My pajamas were a short t-shirt....and that's about it. I quickly took a survey of my surroundings and prayed there were no golfers that might have been subjected to my morning glory. I thought I was off the hook until I looked to my left where the maintenance shed for the course is located. OH. MY. GOODNESS. There stood an entire crew of workers. There I stood in a t-shirt and my scoobies.
As I hung my head in shame and cowered back to the safety of my bedroom I thought to myself, "The good news about starting a day like this...It really can only get better from here."