Friday the 13th: The one where my son may never forgive me.

I'm not a really superstitious person.  I've stepped on numerous cracks and my mom has never suffered a broken back because of it.  I don't even really believe in luck so much, because I believe more in a plan cooked up by my God.  However, yesterday was clearly Friday the 13th. I should have known when I made the turn to go to Claire's school and somehow whacked my head into my window! I have no idea how it happened or why my head was even close to the window...but it happened and we laughed...hard.  I dropped Cohen off, ran to the grocery store and headed home.  We have a window in the living room that won't lock and there is a draft coming through.  I decided to try and pull it shut by inserting a screwdriver into the hole where the lock goes and pull it towards me.  It was actually working until the screwdriver slipped.  It was not good.  I stabbed myself IN THE FACE!  I grabbed my eye and shouted a bad word or two.  I calmed down once I realized, I stabbed my cheek and NOT my eye...and there wasn't THAT much blood.  Then I thought about how refreshing a cool breeze can be.  Maybe that window should just stay the way it is.  Of course I could lean out the other window and push it shut....no, better not.

Soon after that, Cohen's teacher called and said he had an accident and wouldn't let anyone come in the bathroom to help.  I rushed up to the school.  He had indeed had an accident and even covered in poo poo, he is probably the sweetest thing on the entire planet.  As I was helping him I asked, "What happened buddy?"  He responded, "Oh Momma, I didn't even trust a toot I just tried to hold it until I got home!!"  I am so glad he is retaining all of the valuable information we give him.  (Never trust a toot, you may get more than you bargained for!)

I had some of my girls over for dinner while Big Daddy went and had dinner with his cousin.  I enjoyed great dinner and conversation with the girls and by 10:30 was in bed bawling my eyes out while watching the Extreme Home Makeover: Joplin Edition.  Much later, Big Daddy came rolling in and asked for chapstick because, "MY LIPS HURT REAL BAD." I directed him to my cosmetics drawer and went back to sleep.  The next morning I rolled over and shot out of bed.  "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?!"  I thought he had been in a fight until I remembered him asking for chapstick.  Then I realized...Big Daddy had slathered on a huge amount of 24 hour lipstain.  I laughed until I was literally sobbing.  Then I took a picture and sent it to about 20 people.  I would LOVE to post it on here...but I value my marriage and my life too much to take that risk!!

My People.

There have been A LOT of things changing around here.  Things that, 10 years ago, may have sent me into a full blown panic attack.  However, through the trials and tribulations we have faced in the past 5 years, I have come to know the peace that comes when you TRULY put your life in the Lord's hands.  I have watched my mom do that for years.  When I was in the 5th grade and my brother was in the 2nd, my dad suffered a heart attack at the age of 40.  He had open heart surgery.  He survived the widow maker.  I remember my mom being tired, but she held it together for us as she prayed for God to spare my dad.  As a daughter and a 5th grader, I didn't truly understand the severity of the situation even as it was plastered all over my teacher's face when I told her my dad had a heart attack.  I remember thinking, "What? It's no big deal.  He will be home soon."  Now, as a mother and a wife...I understand.  When I look back at the way my mom handled everything when I was a child, I am so thankful.  Without speaking a word, she showed me how to have faith.  She showed me how to trust in a God that will never forsake me.  In the last 5 years, I have been given several opportunities to show my children what that looks like.  I hope I managed.  I think I did. 

This is NOT to say that I haven't given in to worry and anxiety a little.  Trust me, I have had some restless nights.  But God has continued to show Himself to me.  He shows Himself everyday in the blessing of my husband and kids.  I feel so complete when I think about "my people" who are there for me no matter what.  I am seriously surrounded by AMAZING family and friends.  My prayer is that everyone can experience this kind of fullness.  However, I have discovered that finding these amazing people usually doesn't happen unless you put yourself out there.  Sometimes you get burned...but trust me...it's totally worth it. I LOVE my people.

Food for Thought

Since I haven't blogged regularly there have been many things that have slipped through without being mentioned.  Instead of trying to play catch up, I will just go from here.  One thing that did happen will affect our everyday life from here on out, so I thought I would share.  Sometime in the fall, my mommy radar began to detect that something was amiss.  Claire was starting to develop the same symptoms I noticed when she was 2.  Just after she turned 5, she was diagnosed with Insulin Resistance.  She was on medication for a year and got really thin.  I asked if we could try to take her off of it.  I was told that in some cases, the medicine will reverse the problem.  However, we knew this was a long shot.  We tried.  It didn't work.  So now we are back on medication.  She is basically a type 2 diabetic.  She has also decided that eating meat is mean, so cooking for a 7 year old vegetarian diabetic should be super easy.

The good news is she really is a healthy eater, and always has been.  I just have to put it in front of her.  I am learning what she needs and discovering that it will be very good for all of us to eat this way.  I have also discovered it is much like my friend Laci cooks for her family and I have really enjoyed reading her blog Picket Fence Paleo.  This is my number one goal for 2012.  Feeding my family good nutritious food...and hopefully making it taste good!  This sounds a lot like a resolution, but it really can't be.  I NEVER keep resolutions so I quit making them.  I can't fail at this, because my daughter's health is hanging in the balance. 

Completely self serving rant...

There is a CHANCE this blog entry may come across to some as a little rant.  I honestly wouldn't take the time to rant on here if I didn't feel it may help someone out a little.  By someone...I mean me.  We ended the year in a bit of a funk.  It seemed like every time we turned around, someone was being mean and hurtful.  If you are reading this, and think this blog pertains to you...it probably does. If you think it applies ONLY to you, it doesn't.  There has been plenty of ugliness to go around. It left me with a very bitter taste in my mouth. 

I am not saying that I am perfect.  I am not saying that my family is perfect.  The good Lord KNOWS that we are not perfect.  But I do know that we are trying our best to be good.  The way I was raised, you wake up and live your life searching for ways to make someones day brighter. 

I have watched my mom live her life for her family.  Make no mistake, she is NOT a martyr.  She lived for us and loved every minute of it.  Just as she had us out of the house and on our own, tragedy struck and she knew she was being called by God to do what HE had planned.  She is now helping to raise two little boys, and let me tell you, she wouldn't have it any other way.

I grew up watching my Dad.  A man who has never met a stranger and would do anything for anyone.  I knew every year at Christmas, there would be two brand new bikes purchased.  I also knew, no matter how shiny and awesome they were...they weren't ours.  They belonged to two children who were less fortunate than us.  I could write an entire post on all of the amazing things he has done for others, but I simply don't have a month to devote to such a post.  Sadly, I could also write a post almost as long about people who were just flat rotten in return. 

Over the past six months, I have cried numerous times out of sheer disappointment and disbelief.  When you are doing things for people out of the kindness of your heart, how does it turn so ugly?  So here is what I have come up with. 

We are Christians.  We are doing God's work.  The more work we do for HIM, the more the devil wants to see us fall on our faces.  The more work we do for HIM,  the more we are persecuted.  I'd rather spend a lifetime on earth doing HIS work and being persecuted for every bit of it than be enticed for ONE STINKING SECOND by the devil to rest on my laurels and not share my love with other people.  PERIOD.  However, I also know I have to protect my heart and my family.  So my new philosophy in life is this.

Hurt me once....shame on you.
Hurt me twice...really? Again? OK, one more chance.
Hurt me three times...done.  Even Jesus had his limits, so unless you want me to come into your temple and start turning over tables, we must bid farewell.  BUT, you are more than welcome to come back when you are ready to play nice.

Whew.  I feel better.  Now I am ready to take on 2012.  Well...maybe tomorrow.  Today I am going to piddle in my house, play on Pinterest, drink coffee and eat Nutella stuffed crescent rolls.  Maybe squeeze in a game of UNO or Sorry...maybe Cranium Jr. if things get really wild!!

A New Year.

If I may direct your attention to the title of my blog.  It has changed.  A Little Bit of Life, just seemed like a misrepresentation. There is nothing little going on around here.  With Big Daddy standing at 6 foot 9 and our youngest (5 years old) topping the charts at 4 foot 4...our size is anything but little.  Then add in our 130 pound dog and we are huge.  However, the amount of space we take up on this earth isn't the only thing I'm referring to when I say BIG time. I am also talking about the LOVE and BLESSINGS in our world.

I am incredibly blessed to be a part of a pretty large family.  By birth...we really aren't that large.  By choice, my family is huge.  I am blessed with some pretty great in-laws that came with the deal I sealed with a kiss on June 22, 2002.  We have also "adopted" so many people into our family.  I'm sure you know about the girl I call my sister.  Because of her, my adopted family has become GINORMOUS!!  I believe that what we do is actually not that normal.  To some it may seem weird.  Personally, my heart is so full of love and trust that when I make a new friend (and I feel they are TRUE) they become like family.  Because of the way I was raised, I am loyal if nothing else.Trust me friends when I say, this does not always feel like a positive trait to possess.  There are days when I want to pack up my stuff and the people who I KNOW would never hurt me and move to Hawaii.  "Thank you for joining us on Chrissy's Ark of Trust, the beverage cart will be around soon!"  You might be surprised at how seriously Big Daddy and I were considering selling everything and moving.  I was even looking at real estate on the beach.  In an effort to disprove Big Daddy's theory that we could "totally move to the beach," I found myself...wanting to do that very thing!!!  However, I didn't see anything under 1.2 million that I liked, so I think maybe we have just settled on a vacation back to our honeymoon spot to celebrate our 10 year anniversary!

I also feel BIG things happening.  I feel God has been working in our lives and has big plans for us.  I am excited to see what 2012 holds for us.  Here's to a new year of BIGness. (and let's hope that has nothing to do with my buns.)

Disney!!!

We took a FEW pictures on our trip to Disney...here are my favorites!!

Cohen is ready to GO!!!

Indeed.

Cohen loved "The Palace"

The castle changes colors...this was my favorite!

It was REALLY hard to catch Claire in a picture!

Cohen at Epcot.  He couldn't wait to walk under the big golf ball!

Breakfast at our hotel

Mickey waffles reminded us of Miss Robbie!!

Claire waiting for the Safari...her favorite part of our trip!

The kids decided it was a message from Heaven.

He LOVED the parade at Animal Kingdom!

So did she....I promise!

Tree of Life

Where I almost lost a really nice dinner.

Waiting for Fantasmic.

Watching Fantasmic...amazing!!!!

THE Highlight of Cohen's trip! "Captain Jack Spawow!"

At the risk of sounding super cheesy...this was truly a magical vacation.  The feeling I got when walking up to the Magic Kingdom while it was all decorated for Christmas was seriously magic.  As silly as it may sound, I was a little emotional.  The fact that I was getting to take my kids on a vacation like this, was just such a blessing.  I will never take it for granted.  I loved seeing the looks on their faces.  They were both so taken by the castle....and so was I.  It was just beautiful.  I can't possibly share all of our stories in a blog, but this melted my heart...While on Peter Pan's Flight, Cohen hugged me tight and said, "Oh momma, I'm thinking only all my happy thoughts!"

 

10 Years Ago...

10 years ago, I don't remember exactly what I was doing.  It is strange but I remember that my house was clean.  I lived with my brother and a clean house was not something that happened on a regular basis.  Chances are I went to sleep while watching either The Wedding Planner or My Best Friend's Wedding because I was newly engaged and had wedding on the brain.  I went to sleep that night with absolutely no idea that I would wake up in the morning to a world that would never be the same.

Shortly after 8 a.m. on September 11, 2001 my brother ran into my room and woke me up yelling, "WE ARE BEING ATTACKED!!!"  I, naturally, asked where the dog was and ran to the living room.  We sat on my red flowered couch on the black cordless phone with my mom and watched in terror as the first tower collapsed.  As news trickled in about the flight in Pennsylvania and the plane that hit the pentagon....I was stunned.  I was not exactly shocked that something like this was happening, but the scope was incomprehensible.  If they were going to hit the pentagon....what is stopping them from taking everyone out?  Were we the safest because we are in the middle of the country?  Where do I want to be if something like that happens here?  The only answer I was sure of was the answer to the last question.  I knew I didn't want to be at school. I skipped my IDS 110 class and took lunch to my dad's office. We sat and watched the coverage as we tried to eat our sandwiches. (Bacon Turkey Bravo from Panera) Luckily I had filled up with gas on the way because by the time I left his office, people had panicked and gas stations resembled Black Friday at Best Buy.  Not good.

I reported for duty at 4:00 for my shift at a drug and alcohol recovery center and it was like visiting a parallel universe.  With the exception of a few women who were "upset" (read, "I'm going to freak out so I can milk this situation for an extra smoke break) most of them were not concerned.  I heard things like, "Yeah, it sucks but it's not my problem." Someone actually said, "It doesn't affect me so I don't care."  I could not believe they could be so flip about one of the biggest and most deadly events in history.  The world around me began to make less and less sense.  It stayed that way for months.

I called friends that I hadn't talked to in a while.  I prayed with my parents at a local church that we had never attended.  I watched the footage.  I turned the footage off.  I tried to be okay with planning a wedding.  I tried to make sense of it all.

Ten years later...I still watch the footage and it is just as terrifying as it was the first time. I pray. I read the stories about the children who never met their fathers because they were born AFTER the attacks.  I pray.  I read the stories about the widows and widowers who have found true love again.  I pray.  I sit and wait for my husband's plane to land in Springfield tonight...and I pray.  I pray to God and thank Him because I know, there is a place waiting for us where this kind of loss and pain will seize to exist.